Muscovites have experienced their warmest winter and highest average temperatures for January for 130 years - I repeat, the warmest January for 130 years. The first proper snows (not including a light fluttering in October 2006) arrived in Moscow on the 20th January 2007.

There were a large number of depressed people and many with a generally low mood in Moscow. The lack of snowy, frosty bright days, meant that Muscovites endured weeks of overcast, dull days that were quite depressing. I don't know if the Russians have accepted the S.A.D syndrome as a medical problem, however, doctors were advocating that people should cheer themselves up by eating lots of chocolate and bananas. The diagnosis for the noted winter depression the population suffered, was put down to too much heat and too little snow.

“There never were such winters under communism,” Moskovsky Komsomolets newspaper claimed wistfully, partly in jest, but truly enough.

Tony Blair is visiting an Edinburgh hospital. He enters a ward full of patients with no obvious sign of injury or illness and greets one. The patient replies:

"Fair fa your honest sonsie face,
Great chieftain o the puddin race,
Aboon them a ye take yer place,
Painch, tripe or thairm,
As langs my airm."

Blair is confused, so he just grins and moves on to the next patient. The patient responds:

"Some hae meat an canna eat,
And some wad eat that want it,
But we hae meat an we can eat,
So let the Lord be thankit."

Even more confused, and his grin now rictus-like, the PM moves on to
The next patient, who immediately begins to chant:

"Wee sleekit, cowerin, timorous beasty,
O the panic in thy breasty,
Thou needna start awa sae hastie,
Wi bickering brattle."

Now seriously troubled, Blair turns to the accompanying doctor and
Asks "Is this a psychiatric ward?"

"No," replies the doctor, "this is the serious Burns unit."

We were mulling over the most unlikely of subjects this week; fractions. To be more specific, language and how its use has changed in some areas of common use, that is, common use to a particular generation.

So, if it is not politically correct to describe a top heavy fraction as 'vulgar' what is acceptable? We amused ourselves with brainstorming a number of permutations and you'll be glad to know that we did arrive at the description currently being used.

Tapping into royal phone calls merits custodial sentences at a time when we are told our prisons and police cells are full, and Home Office guidance is interpreted by the judiciary to mean that alternative non-custodial penalties should take priority over common sense and the the sentencing guidelines. The royal tapping is explained by an Old Bailey Judge, as against inegrity and the public interest and has been sentenced accordingly.

On the other hand, for Sexual Offences against children, pornographic activities, offences which have defined sentencing requirements under the Sexual Offences legislation, those custodial penalties, suddenly become off-limits, according to judges sitting in provincial courts. Are not these types offences also against integrity and the public interest and more besides? There is something completely off kilter here.

Like a phoenix rising from the ashes, the Lancaster Bomber will fly again. At least that is the hope from the team of people working on it,(one of the few remaining in existence). In her war time days, the Lancaster's working life averaged 3 weeks, because so many were shot down. As this surviving 'old lady' is showing little signs of wear and tear, even in her denuded shell-like state, it is likely that the Lancaster will soar.

What I find hard to accept is that the eventual paintwork is a secret! Surely, if history is to be recreated it should be, and my guess is the plane will be, in its original colours.

Tonight, Channel Four has swung into damage limitation mode. It took a careful monitoring of the choreography to decide at which point it might be beneficial to the TV channel to say 'we are sorry if...' Of course no offence was meant on humungous scales; of course there was no ulterior motive to undermine Britain's Trade with India or elsewhere in the world by showing 'reality' racist and offensive tendencies.

I admit to being somewhat cynical here, but even I can believe that C4 did not think, sorry was not capable of thinking quite that big, that they could affect the country's foreign and trade relationships. Celebrity Big Brother got out of hand beyond their wildest dreams and brought in megabucks to fill the TV station's dwindling coffers and much more besides.

The next step is likely to be to rehabilitate Jade Goody (JG) who will, I am sure, very soon be portrayed as a gullible victim, when it suits the vilifiers and the theatrical/entertainments agents, who are all currently in line for their slice of the action (read $$$ into that too). There have even been rumours (already) that JG was coached (that sounds suspiciously like another term for 'manipulated') into her behaviour.

I find all the twists and turns, the analyses I am hearing, highly fascinating; it could make for a good future programme both on TV and Radio. As I tend to listen rather than watch, a radio airing would be my preference.

Just after Christmas I was reminded, by comments shared with Pollygarter about the Christmas story, of a blog I saw written by an American lady named Ruth Dickson, who has a sharp satirical wit. The blog, reproduced below, with permission, has been published in a book of her writings entitled LIFE, DEATH AND OTHER TRIVIA ISBN No. 978-1-4116-8432-4 http://www.lulu.com/ruthdickson

Of all the hundreds of variations in Biblical content, there is one glaring mistranslation that has had the most profound effect on the most people over the longest period of time. This is the meaning of the Greek word "parthenos".

In both the ancient and modern language, this word means "maiden", or "unmarried girl". It does not specifically mean "virgin". Although common mores would probably lead to an expectation of chastity in a nubile girl, there was no guarantee then, anymore than
there is now, that a young woman would retain her virginity until marriage.

So we see that the whole story of the ghostly insemination of Mary, leading to the "virgin" birth of Jesus, is based on nothing more than one translator's interpretation of the Latin, then English, word for "parthenos". The original text simply referred to Mary as "an unmarried girl", which she was at the time, although apparently sleeping with Joseph, or maybe some other horny village kid.

Don't you find it incredible that two billion people base an entire belief system, and in some cases, their whole lives, on this one little hiccup? A universal mythos has been built on it, millions of people have been slaughtered because of it, trillions of dollars have been made on it, virtually every aspect of every life on the planet has been affected by it. And all because a couple of kids in a Jewish community called Nazareth decided to have a little premarital roll in the hay.

If the truth be told, I think this would be it: After some sneaky shtupping in the fields, Mary found herself thoroughly knocked up. Knowing that no nice Jewish girl could remain in the village in that condition, without suffering severe shame and probable banishment, the couple decided to cut their losses and arranged for a hasty elopement, sans rabbi, chupah or hora-dancing.

They wandered the countryside, hitching rides and taking odd jobs for food until Mary went into labor when they arrived at Bethlehem. They tried to check into the Best Mideastern Inn, but because they weren't married, the tightass desk clerk refused them a room and they were forced to bed down out in the stable, where Mary gave birth to a boy. Nobody knows how long she was in labor, nor who actually delivered the baby; however, if we believe the Genesis story, one has to wonder, in light of God's curse upon Eve that "in pain shall ye bring forth children" how many hours of kvetching the poor kid had to endure before delivering a son.

After the birth, the couple finally legalized their union, but realized that as soon as they got home, people would start counting on their fingers, so they needed to devise a good cover story.
They did this by enlisting the aid of the local Mensa chapter, comprised of a group of well-educated mystics called "Magi" (add a "c" for a fuller picture of their talents).

Current translations say there were three of them, but there might have been as many as twelve. Whatever their number, they concocted a story so outrageous, it was impossible to refute. They threw the new parents a baby shower (myrrh, gold and incense, but no Diaper Genie). Then, to add veracity to their tale, they launched an amazing PR campaign to fill in the details. They chronicled a new star in the East, broadcast a story of a girl giving birth without having had sex, and declared that the baby must surely be the son of God, because who else could be born from an unfertilized egg?

The fact is, if the ovum actually did start to split without benefit of a spermatozoon poke, as in the experiment performed on frog eggs in every Bio 101 class, the resulting offspring would have been female, lacking a Y chromosome. So, either Jesus was a girl, or those Magi dudes were superb spin doctors.

In any case, the story spread, was told and retold so many times it became "truth". (We all know how that happens...see "Hitler, A" and "Bush, G.W.). And here we are, some 2000 years later, still telling and believing it, still shedding blood over it, still capitalizing on it, still swallowing a completely irrational premise based on an unknown writer's editorial error. Now, don't you feel silly?

I was happily preparing the meal in the relative peace of my kitchen (no kitchen is peaceful in terms of sound, if it is a working one) far away from the glorified manipulated zoo cage that I keep hearing people chuntering on about, the news bulletins are debating about and pop vox is commenting about round every bloomin' corner. Then I had a deep thought; what is this ridiculously shallow world of ours coming to if that is what preoccupies us most?

I then had another thought; are we creating a diversion, a not very pretty one from what I hear, with Celeb Big Brother House ( I can't escape hearing about it unless I want to live in a retreat) to mask what we are very much involved with that is even less attractive, in fact totally unattractive, in Iraq and in Afghanistan. This is what some of the human race does; it goes into diversionary activity or ostrich mode when it does not wish to face up to the true and gross unpleasantries of life.

Film producers create other crude unpleasantries for us to view on celluloid. We become desensitized with brutal and realistic DVD/CD games. We learn to believe, conveniently, they are just games, in many cases,They are not. They mimic what is done in the name of humanity, they are even dressed up in morals, (heaven knows whose). We are expert at rationalising and avoid facing up to what is reality for very many people in this world.

Most of us are aware that it can be somewhat difficult to remember what we've been up to if we have been under the influence of drink, strong medications or other types of drugs.

Did you know that Sir Walter Scott had at one time in his life, an addiction to Laudanum. For those who are not sure of its main ingredient, Laudanum is an opium-based analgesic.

The affects on Scott of his indulgence, were obviously major. When reading the proofs of his completed novel, The Bride of Lammermoor, Scott admitted that he had not recognised a single character, conversation or incident, in the entire work.

We had some respite this afternoon, from the storms that have been raging here since Tuesday (9th Jan), a whole 3 hours without rain and the roaring noises of the wind. It's back to normal now - rain fiercely hammering at the glass panes and the storm levels rising. The sound is something to be respectful of; you really don't go out in these conditions unless, in all honesty, you have to.

It has been so stormy that offshore workers are standing by in hotels to get to their working posts and let off those whose work time on the rigs has run over schedule. It is too risky to attempt the flights to make the personnel exchanges.

The conditions I describe, are those that seamen and fishermen should be taking shelter from. So many ride out the satanic seas and succeed to continue the next day or they manage get to a haven. Some don't.

The BAFTA awards (our Oscars) have as front runner nominations, Casino Royale, The Queen and The Departed. I have had the dubious fortune to have seen and experience some disinterest in the first, completely enjoy the second,and I had the absolute misfortune to be invited to see the third.

They all had some solid acting skills in them and in one film, the characterisations were superb. Two, in my view contained gross and gratuitous violence.

There were big yawn stunt scenes that really had no place in the Casino Royale storylines. I reckon it was a cyncial make for CD/DVD games. I believe, that film would have benefitted from being at least half an hour shorter.

The third film was positively indecent on many fronts and I am amazed it is being nominated for anything. Are we so desensitized to degradation that we can glorify it in the name of entertainment?

For all you out there in the know, I ask in all seriousness;

Is the bagel the new baguette

A mother, admittedly one in the public eye, is being used by media as fair game because she has within her means, decided to do what's best for her child. I would do the same. Any mother who could, would do the best for a child.

The scenario is a major media manipulation; it may have some short term benefits in embarrassing the government, or 'encouraging' the local authorities to be less defensive about providing statements for disabled school childrens' needs. Once a statement is made, there is a cost burden for the state and like all current community resources, cash flow and spending is very tightly controlled. There is no cash incentive for authorities or schools to provide. Cash diverted into special educational needs may steal from another needy one. In today's pure accountancy mind set, the judgement of Solomon is required

There are many needy children in mainstream classes who are receiving a minimal level of input for their educational needs. It is lip service. In a large class, one teacher can only offer a limited amount and when shared with special needs, be they physical or learning disabilities, what little time there is for the other children in the class is diluted. It must be difficult for a teacher with such a class to keep up with the pace of curriculum requirements.

Parents who do obtain quality provision via their education authorities have to go through many hoops and hurdles to get it. One mother interviewed, who had just such an experience, did not hold Ruth Kelly's position against her and neither did another mother who had been unable to access all she felt was required for her child. They both held the view that if anything, they were glad the child is (a) in a posiition to be helped sooner rather than later, and (b) that the difficulties inherent in an administrative system which can provide, resources permitting, have been highlighted.

There is now a general goverment view, that no more special education units/schools are to be closed. What we have left must be retained, no mention though, of adding to what's left.

Mr instant pot noodle died of a heart attack aged 96 years old. Momofuku Ando, got the idea when watching people queue up for Ramen noodles soup, in probably what was the nearest thing to an underground soup kitchen for the needy. The original idea was to provide cheap food, post war, easy to prepare by the masses. Adding hot water to chicken ramen easy preparation noodle dish, appeared in 1958. Later, the addition of the plastic container pot noodle lunch to the food range became globally used and still is, in various forms, being still, a regular sight on store shelves.

Who would have thought, adding hot water to dried noodles in a plastic pot, (a major technological leap forward in itself in 1971) would have captured such a large market. I doubt whether Mr Ando did. I doubt that he would have imagined in his wildest dreams that he would be providing pot noodle meals for Japanese astronauts, but, his company did.

Like them or loathe pot noodles, this is an amazing achievement that came out of an altruistic thought.

I've spent all day trying to remember what day of the week it is;

I bought a toaster as ours - three years old - failed during my recent absence.

I thought I could see sufficiently through the plastic packaging if the toaster was okay, even so, on totally unwrapping it at home, I found a dent. It's going back. That's a 40 miles round trip.

I bought a present for a child; the security tag was left on it. Now why didn't the pesky alarm sound when I left the store? It would have saved me a 40 miles round trip back for that.

I'm trying out my replacement bread machine - I don't think I am going to be as well in tune with this one as the last, which like the toaster, failed after 3 years.

I think I should be in bed!